Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Amanda's List

My college roomie Sandy read my blog and 101 list. This is her response:


Amanda's List

My friend Amanda made herself a crazy list of 1,000 things she wants to do by May 1st or something. I guess she did this because she has all kinds of free time now that she has baby-o-rama going on at her house. I don't know.

But as soon as I saw that nonsense, I told her to stop it right away. It's not that I'm averse to getting things on a list done, but this list was like some kind of list you might put together if you had spent all day at the engineering building at MSU and came home and were still in that mode of thinking. All people MSU will know what I'm talking about here.

So, I offered to make her a new list. This list, I think, is more practical and certainly more fun. You won't find any rubbish about saving money or buying a new pair of sensible shoes on this list. No, this is far more daring and exhilarating.

  1. Find the tallest tree in your neighborhood. That way, when people come to your house, you can say, "Did you notice the tallest tree in our neighborhood?" I'll tell you right now that nobody will notice because people (unfortunately) are not usually that perceptive. Then, when they tell you no, you can point and say, "Yeah, it's that one over there."

  2. Plan a day to clean the gutters on your house. Tell everybody that the day you've planned is gutter cleaning day. Make a big deal out of it. You could even send out an email. Then, when gutter cleaning day comes, get a ladder and go up on your roof. Then, take off your clothes to reveal your new snazzy bathing suit. And then get out your secret stash of suntan lotion. And then just lay out in the sun all day. When the day is over, come down off the roof and tell everyone it was a lot of hard work and the reason you're all hot and sweaty is that you were trying to get all this junk unstuck from the gutters. Then just go lie down and say that you're tired and need a nap. People will feel really sorry for you.

  3. Come to Michigan and go real sledding. I almost cried when I saw the Texas sledding video.

  4. Go to this website. It cleanses your soul and clears your mind.

  5. Clean your house and get everything put away. Then, call someone from the National Association of Professional Organizers and ask then to come by and give you an estimate on how much it would cost to tidy up your house. Really talk your house up on the phone like it's really, really awful. Ask questions like, "What about if I just put all of the pizza boxes from the last five years in my closet? Then what?" or "How do you dispose of sour cream containers that have been left out on the counter for like...35 weeks?" or "I know I've heard of black mold, but what if it's magenta?" or "Do they sell things for like throwing away dirty baby diapers? We just put them all in the attic." Then, when they get to your house, be like...what?

  6. Walk by a karate studio that has a big window out to the parking lot, and when the people inside look out at you, pretend to be a ninja. I did that the other day. Daryl was scared for my safety, but it was lots of fun.

  7. Tell everybody that you smashed your car up and it's in the shop. Then, go and rent a Porshe and then when people ask, tell them that's what the rental shop gave you because they were fresh out of Ford Focuses. Drive it around for a week or two. Oh yeah, it should be yellow.

  8. Give a little money to charity. What did you expect? You need to do something to make up for all the lying you'll be doing throughout the rest of this list.

  9. You're going to need to take a few days off of work for this one. Read Twilight. Then, you'll of course want to read the next book and you will be addicted and...well, you need to take a few days off of work for that.

  10. Listen to this song. Because how can you not be in a good mood when this song is on? Bobbyitsaybobbyiton.

So - what would YOU add to my list?

4 comments:

Moni said...

Do three cartwheels. :)

Amanda said...

I'm wearing a dress today, would that be work appropriate? you know, I don't even know if I can do a cart wheel, but I will try!

Amanda said...

Twilight IS the next book on my night stand to read. Once I finish that stupid Anna Karenina.

Technicolor_Jenn said...

Twilight is good-but you will feel dumber after reading it.