I don’t WANT to be perfect. That would just be boring and make other people nauseous. But I am constantly disappointed with my own performance lately. Mostly in the parenting department, but also in categories of wife, employee, cook, eater, housekeeper, runner, friend, Catholic, neighbor, sister, daughter, citizen, and decorator. In short, there about a hundred things I wish I could do, do better, do more often or stop doing. Yes, I am being hard on myself today, mostly feeling sorry for myself after a rough Sunday evening trying very hard not to explode and night spent uncomfortably on the couch with Madeline. And looking at my 101 list, it is a manifestation of the desire to be better in all these areas. But how do I put the sorry-for-myself-I-want-to-be-better feeling into action? Right now I am too busy pouting to do anything about it. What does make me feel better, is Googling "Perfect Mom Picture". You get the expected Barbara Billingsley pic and a suprising Britney Spears photo. So maybe I should just stop whining and be glad that I am somewhere in between Mrs Cleaver and Britney.