This is one of those awful realizations. Before having kids, I would hear about parents, step-parents, babysitters shaking kids and doing really terrible things in frustration. How could anyone shake a baby? What would be the purpose? Obviously, it won’t make the baby stop crying! And it’s a baby, defenseless, crying because something is wrong and needs your help. But now, as a mother of 3, I can kinda see how in the heat of the moment, when you’ve been up for hours with a screaming kid who cannot be consoled, you would reach your limit of sanity and go to a crazy, crazy place. I got a glimpse last night (or this morning) after being up with wee Jack until 2am. My legs were sore from leaning over the pack’n’play to pat his back, I could barely keep my eyes open. He would get so close to singing, lulled by my singing and back rubbing and them “Waaaaaaaa!” Just go to sleep already!!! I know you’re teething and your mouth probably hurts like hell, but cut-it-out already! GRRRRR….. Finally, I had to put him down and walk away for a few minutes. He got even more pissed, but it was for his own good, and mine. After his 4th bottle he finally fell asleep for a few hours in my arms. Now I just have to pray there isn’t another repeat performance tonight!!
For the record, I love the little bugger with my whole heart and soul, but man alive Mommy needs her sleep!